How you got your life?

One day, God created a dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10?"

So God agreed.

On second day, God created a monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

Third day, God created a cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I'll give back the other 40?"

And God agreed again.

Fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years."

But man said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my 20, 40 the cow gave back, 10 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes 80, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Funny Question Crazy Answers

Q: What's the difference between a cricketer and a condom?
A: The cricketer drops the catch, and the condom catches the drop

Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and riding a woman?
A: To ride a bicycle you fix your ass and move your legs. To ride a woman you fix your legs and move your ass

Q: What three things are common between the sun and a woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward...backward...forward... stop and eject

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come you are in big trouble

Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where most people find pleasure!

Views on the Indian tech industry

This is one of the mail i got in my in box today i thought of posting it here because it represents the mixed feelings of an IT GUY of india in funny,depressed and thought provoking way have a look at it:)

It's a topic that has been oft debated - that India's tech industry is a lot like the Chinese manufacturing phenomenon - Low cost, reasonable quality, minimal innovation. I was an employee of a huge IT company in India (what the heck, it was TCS) and have, in the two years in their employ, developed certain opinions and concerns about the direction of India's IT revolution.

Here's how Indian IT companies operate (Infy, TCS, wipro and the second string such as mastek, satyam, patni etc). Hire engineers in bulk, never mind that they are not computer scientists or electrical engineers - if they can write a few lines of code in C/C++ and are academically decent, they're hired . After all, they dont need brilliant engineers - just people who will do as they are told and reasonably intelligent enough to get the client's work done, and bullshit their way out of it if they don't. They'll rarely make CAD software for Electrical engineering or mechanical engineering. Instead they will develop "end to end solutions" for banking, finance, inventory management, website development, etc. By develop I mean code, not design - there is a huge difference between the two, something which I will touch upon shortly. One important thing to note is that the HR in most IT companies dont give a damn about individual interests. They will put you wherever they need someone to slog for them. I've had one HR person tell me that they will put me in a project where they get maximum money, regardless if I am interested or not. And they wonder why so many people leave!!!

What is the nature of the work? At least 70% of the international projects in most indian IT companies is maintenence - i.e someone else has already developed an application. All you need to do is add more features/change behaviour as per client's request . Then there's production support, which is worse. It is almost call-center work - ensure that the application runs normally and if it fails, get it up and running ASAP. Take calls from the client, update on the status. In a sense, like a car mechanic - I didnt get an engineering degree to be a car mechanic - I got it to design the car! Finally, if you are lucky you get development - write code. But then, writing code is easy - it is like manufacturing a car. What is not, is designing a system that works efficiently. Typically, foreign clients get the design done by the likes of Accenture, IBM, etc. The designs are then sent to desi companies, who actually do the coding at a cost much cheaper than IBM or accenture. Thus, all we do is donkey work. It is not technology - it is programming. Technology is a new idea, paradigm or design - programming is implementing that design. Thus, most of the people in IT waste their engineering degrees, doing mundane programming, until they are made project managers - after which they spend their lives approving timesheets, conducting appraisals and sucking up to the client . Wait a second - shouldnt an experienced IT professional be doing advanced stuff and leave the bullshitting to MBAs?

Why is it so hard for desi companies to do design? The've not tried hard enough (yet) to get into this space. They just dont have the competence to get the job done. Desi companies are amazing at procedure oriented projects - if there is a procedure in place telling us what to do, we can do it. They dont have the experience (and therefore the brand equity) to attract IT consulting projects. Consulting is largely a reputation driven business. In order to build such a reputation, desi companies need to hire high-flying consulants - they dont come cheap. Even after all this, there is no guarantee of results! (Lately, Infy is trying to get into this space, I'm told, so good luck to them. I dont think TCS is though :-)) How many software products come out of Indian cos? IFlex is the only company to have a product successful worldwide. Making products is expensive and again, there is no guarantee of success - why risk it when services give me an assured income?

Why do we need to get into high end IT - consulting and products? Simply because the algorithm of low cost, low margin services will run it's course in the future. As payscales rise in india and the rupee appreciating wrt the dollar, margins become more and more slim. In time, India may not be as competitive as say Brasil or Russia - the American cos will take their projects out there! U can see trends in the manufacturing sector - earlier Taiwan was the manufacturing base for American cos, then SouthKorea and then these days, China For too long have we been stuck in the procedure oriented IT services. It is time to invest in consulting and products, and take Indian IT to the next level, or else I fear we will remain stuck in this low end nonsense.
. Indian companies thus have 2 choices - identify and set shop in countries where the low cost, low margin algorithm can be applied (TCS seems to be taking this route) or enter into high end IT, which is independent of geography (Which Infy is trying). I believe the latter is the better route - it is a high margin business and reasonably high tech. What is even better, is coming up with technology - like Java, efficient databases, advanced operating systems (Like Sun, Oracle or Microsoft). That is real tech. It's not that we can't do it. It's just that we dont want to risk it. But, nothing venture, nothing have! Desi companies’ dont even do proper R&D!


Finally, a true story. Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Corporation (TSMC) was huge in the chip manufacturing industry, making almost 60% profit. They could have got into chip design, and potentially, designed low cost chips. However, design is a risky business - what if the chip bombs? TSMC chose to stick to it's core competence - fabrication. In time, TSMC's profits have declined to 20% or so... they're still number one, but don’t make as much money as they used to... Are we learning yet?



PS: Work at TCS drove me so crazy; I quit to do a PhD :-)

The Lost Vikings



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