A mug of beer

An insect falls into a mug of beer...

African : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Japanese : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.

Indian: Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, blames it as long term ISI operation, terms the insect as a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the beer and demand that US should declare Pakistan a terrorist state

Water Versus Wine

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year
we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) bacteria
found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or
other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of
boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, wine = Health


Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink
water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing
it as a public service.

Bar Jokes : Military precision

Some ladies, who were determined to put an end to drinking in their colony, went to the house of a retired Army Officer one evening.
"When did you last have a drink?" they asked
"1945" replied the officer.
"That is very good!" remarked the ladies very happily. "So you are a teetotaler now?"
"I wouldn t call it exactly that," replied the officer, looking at his watch. "You see it is only 2015 now."

Bar Jokes : Bofors

A Indian Goes to Stockholm on a business trip dining in a restaurant. Before ordering he asked for a whisky.
"Which is the best Swedish whisky?" he asked the waiter.
"Sir are you from India?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Then you must try our very special brand Bofors, it gives you instant kickbacks."

Bar Jokes : Confession

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders over to the confessional box. He opens the door, sits down and says nothing. The bewildered priest waits for a few minutes, allowing the drunken man some time to collect his thoughts. Growing impatient, the priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin mate, there`s no toiletpaper in this one either."

Bar Joke : Exchange Note

A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say hi to them, but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him.
So he sets it on a table, along with a note "I spit in this beer" hoping that none will steal it then.
Upon return, he sees another note saying "Me too!"