Computer Users

Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and
expert.

Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might
break their computer.

Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer
after they've just pressed a key that broke it.

Expert Users - People who break other people's computers.

Small Fuse

There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party
was "war".

The first person comes up onto the stage and says, "I'm an atomic
bomb." He gets his applause and steps down.

The second person comes up and says, "I'm a hydrogen bomb." Again,
there's applause and he steps down.

And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, "I'm
dynamite."

Everybody runs away hysterically. When one of them is asked why, he
says, "Didn't you see how small his fuse was?"

Meal Time

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline. "Would you like
dinner?" the flight attendant asked.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

Pins:

Pins

While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several
pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an
apple.

I asked one nurse what the pin signified.

"Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."