Whistle

A man is walking from the lake carrying two fish in a bucket. He is
approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish, they are
my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these fish
jump out and I take them around to see the sights only to return them
back to the water at the end of the day."

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish
without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you
don't believe me then watch," as he throws the fish back into the water
and then just stands there.

The warden says, "Now whistle."

The guy says, "What for?"

The warden says, "Whistle to the fish and show me that they will come
out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What fish?"

Her Size

"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing
the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."

"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.

"Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that
yours."

"Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried as she wrapped the
gloves.

"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and
panties."

blue silk pajamas

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."

A week later he returned. "Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife asked.
"Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No I didn't," she replied. "I put them in the box of field equipment!"

Americans and Russians

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.