First Grade Kid

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, Eddy.

The teacher asked, "Eddy what is your problem?" Eddy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too."

The teacher had had enough.

She took Eddy to the principal's office. While Eddy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

The teacher agreed.

Eddy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Eddy: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Eddy: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Eddy can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Eddy both agree.

1. The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
   Eddy, after a moment, "Legs."
2. Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
   The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
   Eddy replied, "Pockets."
3. Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
   Eddy: Coconut
   The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Eddy was taking charge.
4. Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
   Eddy: Bubblegum
5. Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
   The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
   Eddy: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Eddy: Yep.

1. Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
   Eddy: Tent
2. Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
   Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
   Eddy: Wedding Ring
3. Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
   Eddy: Nose
4. Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
   Eddy: Arrow
5. Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?
   Eddy: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Eddy in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."

Source:just-laugh.blogspot

Sex Therapist Office

A couple went to a sex therapist office at ABC Hospital. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse", and charged them Rs. 300.

This happened several weeks in a row.

The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor and then leave.

Finally one day the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. The thing is, she is married and we can't go to her house, I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Hyatt Hotel charges Rs. 2500, Hotel Taj charges Rs.2000 and Le Meridian charges Rs.1500. We do it here for Rs.300, and I get that back from my insurance company."

Italian Girl

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?" "Very good, thank you."

"And what happened to my present?" "Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl."

"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl."

Potato Garden

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Scott, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Scott,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES!
Love,
Scott

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love,
Scott